When he’s not busy crying about how billionaire is a slur, bedding Grimes, or looking like Dwight Schrute when he cut the face off a CPR dummy and placed it over his own, Elon Musk is innovating. He’s building cars no one drives, coming up with elaborate schemes to rescue exactly zero (0) Thai soccer players, and conceiving Tesla merch so extensive, they might as well sell it at Hot Topic.
But here’s the twist to the story!!
Tesla fans can buy branded t-shirts, jackets, hats and hoodie sweatshirts.
Soon, they will also be able to buy Tesla short shorts, Elon tweeted this flash of brilliance, his eureka moment over the weekend…..
Twitter Users get ready for some entertainment. Seemingly this never-ending war of words against investors betting against the company has just begun.
Let me tell you, dear readers, I love this idea. I envision Soffee shorts rolled twice — no, three times! — with T E S L A written on the ass like our beloved terryclothJuicy Couture shorts of yesteryear. Elon Musk might be a complete fuckhead (that's a medial term, y'all), but I can learn to love him if I can picture him like the t-shirt chair of an old sorority, overworked, always stressed out, and producing deliciously slutty merch in Comfort Colors for the underfed blonde masses.
But this is what actually inspired him to be so creative!!
A consolation gift of short shorts…
Soon thereafter, it was revealed that online clothing brand Chubbies were the ones who had actually sent the shorts to Einhorn. The San Francisco-based apparel maker's founder Kyle Hency told CNBC that Musk had not asked the firm to send the merchandise.
But Elon seemed pretty happy with the gesture…
Manufacturing defects confirmed
Hency then further tweeted to clarify that it was indeed his company that sent the shorts and guarantees that the items were in fact defective. The products sent were the short shorts deemed unfit for customers.
Karma is a bitch!!
Greenlight Capital's fund saw an 18.3% decrease in the first half of 2018 with the carmaker counting as the second-largest contributor to those losses. Perhaps a little friendly banter with Musk will make the fund manager reconsider his unprofitable Tesla stance.
Take my advice, it’s absolutely free 💯%
But why stop at shorts? I know he's got a few more non-space ideas rattling around in that delightfully oversized noggin. Because I am incredibly generous with my time and talents, I'm pleased to present my idea for Tesla merch: thongs! Think about it. Thongs are cheap to mass-produce, they're something we all need to, and Tesla could pump out endless cheeky slogans to splay across the front. They could even rip a page out of Barstool's book and do a Tesla Smoke of the Week featuring hot nerds modeling the merch.
Offer Valid For Limited-Time Only!!
The War has just begun!!
Although the thread is in all likelihood humorous, the CEO has previously offered limited edition flamethrowers and fashionable surfboards. Could Tesla fans hope to see custom-made short shorts and socks?